Archive for September 21, 2013

There needs to be a maximum allowed time limit per hole at mini-golf.

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There needs to be a maximum allowed time limit per hole at mini-golf. #slowplay #sobad #largebackup http://t.co/FXGAKuvsCo

BUtt7EkCcAEdxRU

Man behind the counter: I smell pot.

Man behind the counter: I smell pot.
Me: Yeah, it’s on my breath. May I order some food?

#grilledcheese #chocolateshake #munchies

Getting somewhere would be infinitely easier if I only listened to directions

Getting somewhere would be infinitely easier if I only listened to directions. #hellomcfly #easilydistracted #uturnismybestfriend

Tweet Sports and Spin Cycle Sunday Night #afterdropoff #…

Sports and Spin Cycle Sunday Night #afterdropoff #divorceddadsdowntime

Tweet Quick tip: Diapers can double as a rag in case you…

Quick tip: Diapers can double as a rag in case your car is too dirty for guests and needs a quick wipe down. #absorbent #ingenuity

Diapers can double as a rag in case your car is too dirty for guests and needs a quick wipe down.

Diapers can double as a rag in case your car is too dirty for guests and needs a quick wipe down. #absorbent #ingenuity

Do you have to go to the bathroom?

Me: Do you have to go to the bathroom?

Son: No.

Me: Then why is your hands in your pants.

Son: (Shrug).

Me: Could you at least not linger if touching in public?

Tweet Truth. All sexting means is you are texting with o…

Truth. All sexting means is you are texting with one hand and jerking off with the other! #wantagirl #pickupthephone #makeaplan

All-in-one Tallis/Diaper bag. That’s just how I roll.

Tallis/Diaper

All-in-one Tallis/Diaper bag. That’s just how I roll. #multipurpose #keepingholydaysreal

Tweet Coffee maker or China? Coffee maker hands down! #s…

Coffee maker or China? Coffee maker hands down! #separationagreement #winning